Desperately Need To Be Strong

banyak perkara yg saye alami n pelajari these past few days..

especially about myself..

bulan 8 ni, genap usia saye 23 tahun..dlm usia 23 tahun n dh hampir tamat degree,rupa-rupanye saye dah patut ada byk persediaan untuk masa depan...saye dah kene mula survive sendiri sbb family saye bkn tmpt untuk saye bergantung harap atau pertolongan...bile emergency,terpaksalah..huhu..tapi most of the time,saye kene survive sendiri...and dalam tak sedar bile saye byk buat keje2 sambilan, thats actually my first step to survive n manage my own money...damn!..saye tak sedar keperluan masa depan..erghh..!!...hmm...

and now saye kene work towards my future seriously, without thinking about other things yg remeh, tak penting & bakal buang masa saye...and i have to learn to be strong & survive on my own, insyaAllah...my main responsibility now is habiskan my final year and final semester, then insyaAllah, i will start a whole new life..ada cita-cita nak melepak & melepek kt umah for 2-3 months before seriously carik keje,but i think i have to forget about it..n teros carik keje after i finish my degree...tak kisah la keje ape,asalkan saye dpt duit every month utk byr sewa rumah, api air, insyaAllah duit keter (yes,im planning to get my own car,insyaAllah), minyak keter n tol, mkn minum evday...

after mama left, i was blur & confused about my priority in life...yes,i know my education is important...but i mean what i should do...dulu saye fikir saye kene blajar n keje untuk jaga mama...she was my priority...but bila dia dah takda,sbb tu saye blur..tp now,semlm sbnyer, saye betol2 sedar n realize sgt2 yg priority saye skang ni is myself!..its time utk saye pentingkan diri sendiri n stop thinking about others..nawaitu saye hanyalah nak ada life sendiri yg takkan menyusahkan org lain, especially family saye...they have other things that they have to take care of...saye patutnya dah boleh berfikir how to survive sendiri kan?..thats y, saye harap sgt2 dgn niat saye, planning saye, Allah dapat perkenankan, berkati & makbulkan doa-doa & harapan saye ni..

saye kene btol2 kuat utk survive & ada life sendiri skg ni...cici cici cici....hmm...insyaAllah, we can do it...